Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Mountain Woman.....

What does this bring to mind?

Someone who looks like this:

No right?

Well apparently not to my moms.

Ok...ya'll know how much I love this lady....I really do. But she has this nickname for me that has stuck ever since college. Well but not really college. get my drift.

WOLBI is well.........a special school. Lets just say if I had the opportunity to go there again - I would run in the other direction.

No, I am a christian (& was a christian when I went) and I loved what I learned there.

Wait....lemme just stop. Its a good school for the kids who have no direction and I will leave it at that.

Anyhow, I went to the school in upstate NY. Schroon lake....wait. Yeah, I think thats the name.

Its a small butt town in the middle of butt no wheresville. Beautiful country though. Beautiful!

Anyways, while there...I didn't see the need to shave my legs. I mean hello?! Bible school?! Yeah, who is gonna be touching these legs? Yeah. Thats right. Nobody.

Well....lemme just clarify...I was not a slut. No one has touched my legs romantically except my husband...I'm just saying my thinking.

Anywhoo...when I went home though I would walk around the house in shorts with my non-shaven legs, which apparently was a horrific act. My mother turned to me one day and said: "Girl, please shave those legs! You are no longer living in the mountains! Stop being a mountain woman."

She rushed me upstairs and made me shave my legs.

Oh I kid you not. This 5'4" little woman made a 5'8" college girl shave her legs.

You must understand you do not and I repeat do not piss this little lady off! I knew that if I didn't shave, I would either be tortured night and day with the mountain woman jokes (ha. still being tortured) or wake up one night to find my mother shaving my legs.

Believe me....she is capable of that. So I shaved them.

Anyhow, fast forward to today.

I am a SAHM to one VERY rambuctious, energized 8month old monster man. You'd think she would back off as, ya know, this kid gives me a run for my money. Literally.

Ha. You would be so sadly mistaken.

She came over to visit his monkeyness one day. This happened to be a day that I hadn't shaved in a while.

Seriously though - like I have the stinking time.

You know what she tells me? "Eww Jessica, the mountain woman has seemed to rear its ugly head again. Why are you scarring your son with those mountain woman legs?"

LOL....I can't win with her! The teasing will never end...will it?! Obviously she doesn't remember what its like to have a small baby. When I have the time to shave; you know what I'd rather be doing? Either sleeping or vegging....ahem or blogging. How dare she right? Ahem....yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

I am reminded of the episode from Everybody Loves Raymond (my latest obsession) where Debra says of newlywed Amy: I bet she still shaves her legs.

I used to think it was so funny, but not true. I thought it was such an exaggeration. Hmm...maybe not. Unless...wait a I really the only "Mountain Woman" out there?

P.S. Dont get me wrong...if I hafta wear shorts or capris...legs are shaven. Just thought I get it out there...just in case. ;o)


  1. I am the Rose Nylon from the Golden Girls, I don't shave above the knee mountain woman;-)

  2. I told my husband that my legs itched last night. He said, "Try shaving your legs."

    Um, I was complaining about mosquitoes. I guess that's a hint.

  3. I'm laughing so hard! YOu gotta see my post about that.

  4. LOL! We moms are too busy to shave our legs. I think mine get done only when I'm brave enough to show off my bare legs, which is like once every two weeks.

  5. Oh yes, I relate.

    And Olga, the grim and austere aesthetician who removes my leg hair once every two years or so, can relate too.

  6. oh, I am now hanging my head guiltily..

  7. Bwahahahaha. THis is an awesome post. I have to admit to not shaving all winter (you know, cuz the hair keeps the legs warmer) but I have successfully managed to stay hair free all summer. It's a new trick I learned that earns me an extra 10 minutes in the shower undisturbed. ;)


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