The Facts Of Life...no one warned me about

Ok...hole up....

they did obviously....I mean...hello monkey man and ninja gurl.

But I'm talking about the secret ones.

Like....no matter what....you will become your mother (or father if your a guy...and if you are....hi! Never had a guy reader...well, that I knew about...sooooo hi!)

Anywheys....where was I?

Oh ya....becoming your parents.

I knew that you could become your mom/dad....not that you would.

Yeah...I don't know where I got that either.

I blame it on the ignorant knucklehead. Man that chick was dumb.

Anyhow, here's where I am going with this.

Today, my mom and I went out to the mall (yes...trying to hurry ninja gurl out so I can breathe again. And if you wanna know...yes I did include some random bounces here and there. Not a pretty picture). Anywhoo, as we were leaving, my mom takes out the keys to drive my car.

Obviously I can't since...well...it looks like I swallowed a torpedo head.

Anyhow, she puts the key in the door (see...we is cheap. So we have automatic nothing on our car). After about 15 seconds she turns around looks at me and bursts out hysterical laughing.

Why you ask?

Well....she was trying to open the door with this key:

And not this one - which is the correct one.

You can see how she could make the mistake right? The keys look so familiar. Pssshhh....I made that mistake a coupla once myself!

See? Like mother, like daughter.

Sigh.

Next?

My mom one time...God bless her. Threw her purse at my father screaming: THERES A BEE IN MY PURSE!!

My Dad opens the purse ever so carefully to find....it was her cell phone ringing on vibrate.

Totally can understand that happening! Cause ya know...cell phones....sound like....bees.

Psshh...totally.

So, I tease my mom constantly. As you can clearly tell.

But don't worry. God gets me back...for instance?

As we were driving away from the mall I told my mom to watch out for the cop to her right (she wanted to do an illegal move...ok not really...but still...gotta make this funny). As we were at a stop light, she turns to look....at me. I'm thinking: why the crap is she looking at me?? She says: Jessica, where? I don't see a cop.  Me: (being the snarky pregnant lady) uh...how about you look to your actual right lady? Mom: Bahahahahahahaha!!! I am looking to my right.

Awesomeness. I wanted her to look ... to the left.

Happy Birthday to the best, funniest mom I know!

Isn't she awesome?

Can I ask ya? Doesn't she look like a grandma?

Right? Well, everyone that we come across says: How can you be a grandma? You look to young!

I'm sorry but are we the only ones that see the white hair?? And the .... ahem....crows feet?

Teehee...sorry ma. Had to!