because being politically correct is no fun

For those who dont know - I have awesome parents. And have said so many times.

I hope that I am a good parent like they were.

Ok...enough of the mushy stuff.

When you meet my Dad, you would think: what a serious fella. (people still say fella right?) OR What a great guy to go to for advice OR He's such a great man of God, so serious about faith and life.

But, to us?

He's a comedian. The man is hysterical.

When we were younger, my Dad would look for different ways to make us laugh. The most common way...I will warn ya...is not exactly politically correct.

Anyhow, he would act like he was talking like an Oriental person or Arabic person or person of Jewish decent.

Christmas mornings are never dull

His favorite was repeating the phrase from the Klingons: Bak Da!

Yeah...have no idea if I spelled that right. I just remember it was an episode that someone was yelling it at someone else. (quick sidebar: tried to research to find the episode...but found WAY much more. Did you know there is a klingon institute? Oh. mah. goodness. how awesome is that?)

I think.

Anywheys, back to my story.

Most of the time...he did this in the privacy of our own home. Or car.

Like father, like daughter

Thing was? The only way to get him to stop was to respond to him as if he was actually talking the language.

Oh how I wish I was kidding.

Nah. I take that back. Just goes to show where I get my weird humor from.

Anywheres - notice earlier how I said most of the time he did this in private?

Yeah...there were times...many, MANY times he did this in public.

One time, an Asian family passed us by in Macys. They were speaking... Chinese.

My father? Turned to me and started speaking Chinese.

Does he know Chinese?

Nope.

Did he continue until I started answering him like he did..speak...chinese?

Yup.

Thank God there was no one around, right?

Well, when I was a junior in high school; my dad and I used to take the city bus together. Him on his way to work, me on the way to school.

One early morning, my Dad was apparently in a silly mood. He turned to me and started speaking Hebrew.

Does he know Hebrew?

Nope.

Was the bus full of people?

Yup.

I started to whisper to my father: "Dad...stop. This isn't funny. People are starting to look."

Did that stop him?

No, of course not - he started talking louder.

I continued to beg: "Please Dad. Stop. Please. I'm not gonna play along. Stop. I'm not playin'"

Did that stop him?

Ha. No.

Happy Fathers Day Papa!

I tried looking away...thinking...I do not know this man. I do not know this man. I do not know this man.

What did that make him do?

Yell at me.

In Hebrew.

A language he has no clue how to speak.

And yes, the whole bus was looking at us now.

And you know the way I finally got him to stop?

I bowed my head down and responded to his jibberish exclamations: Yes Dad. I'm sorry Dad. You're right Dad.


I still wonder what those people on the bus were thinking.

I hope I get a chance - to majorly embarrass my kids like that.

You have any embarrassing stories like that? Whether you were the embarrassee or embarrasser...are those even words?