so long, farewell

My dear U,


Well, this is it. You and I are parting ways this Friday. I honestly thought we would grow old and shrivelly together. Shrivelly...is that a word? who cares. You're leaving me on Friday.

I bet your wondering why - well, you see the people you've been inviting over? Are a pain. Literally. I don't like them at all. They've been making me sick and I just can't deal with them anymore. So the doctor and I decided its time to evict yo butt out. Why did you hafta invite those fibroids over? They are just nothing but trouble.

Sigh.

I guess this is just the ultimate lesson you will just hafta learn, I can't warn ya no more sistah.

Can't say I'm too upset about all this, I mean sure - you gave me two of the best gifts I could ever ask for. Monkey Man and Diva. I love them to pieces and I am so grateful to you for them - but they are starting to smell weird and I can't give them back to you. And ya know, those fights we have had once a month? Ya know - where you've had your Aunt Flo come stay with you? They've lasted way too long! Most people stay a couple of days but I remember one time you let your Aunt Flo stay for 10 days. No wait - there was that time that you let her stay for 2 months! See why I ain't too sad about our parting?


Of course, I look at cheech and chong (also known as my monsters creatures kids) and wish that I could have more cute kids. You know how I've always wanted more kids. But I know that this is for the best, shoo I can't handle these two kids now. How am I gonna deal with more?

What am I saying?

I don't know. I'm high on percocet chick, you've made life these past few months very painful.

Oh wait - I know what I'm saying. Is it freaking friday yet? Get out already!

Signed,

A conflicted mom of two adorable monsters who is ready for the next step in her life - maybe. Not sure.